True Meaning of Christmas

This has been an odd Christmas season.  We have been surrounded by change and tragedy.   On a national level we have cried as we read the stories of the children shot down in Connecticut.  This week there will be two funerals in our church building that have sad parallels.  Both are young men, both fell from the path and both took their own lives.  One happens to be our neighbor.  

On Friday night I was putting my girls to bed when I saw the lights flashing from several police cars and an ambulance.  I calmed my girls down, put them to bed, told my boys to go to bed and with Nathan walked across the street.  I didn’t need to be told what I already knew had happened in my heart.   We sat with our neighbors as they went through the shock, agony and pain of losing a son the week before his 30^th birthday.  No one should bury a child.  The hardest part with a suicide is the fear that they may be lost to us.  My neighbor needed reassurance from me that he was not lost.  Nathan and our other neighbor were able to give them blessings.  We sat with them and listened to their grief.  We mourned with them feeling helpless to do anything but be supportive.

 

Elder Ballard addressed the topic of suicide in October of 1997:

“The act of taking one’s life is truly a tragedy because this single act leaves so many victims: first the one who dies, then the dozens of others—family and friends—who are left behind, some to face years of deep pain and confusion. The living victims struggle, often desperately, with difficult emotions. In addition to the feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and rejection which the victims of such a family feel, Latter-day Saints carry an additional burden. The purpose of our mortal lives, we know, is to prove ourselves, to eventually return to live in the celestial kingdom. One who commits suicide closes the door on all that, some have thought, consigning himself to the telestial kingdom.

Or does he? What is the truth regarding suicide?

The late Elder Bruce R. McConkie, formerly of the Quorum of the Twelve, expressed what many Church leaders have taught: “Suicide consists in the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind. … Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.” (Mormon Doctrine, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1966, p. 771; some italics added.)

I feel that judgment for sin is not always as cut-and-dried as some of us seem to think. The Lord said, “Thou shalt not kill.” Does that mean that every person who kills will be condemned, no matter the circumstances? Civil law recognizes that there are gradations in this matter—from accidental manslaughter to self-defense to first-degree murder. I feel that the Lord also recognizes differences in intent and circumstances: Was the person who took his life mentally ill? Was he or she so deeply depressed as to be unbalanced or otherwise emotionally disturbed? Was the suicide a tragic, pitiful call for help that went unheeded too long or progressed faster than the victim intended? Did he or she somehow not understand the seriousness of the act? Was he or she suffering from a chemical imbalance that led to despair and a loss of self-control?

Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.

When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth.

We learn in the scriptures that the blood of Christ will atone for the sins of men “who have died not knowing the will of God concerning them, or who have ignorantly sinned.” (Mosiah 3:11.)

As I think about the worry and agony of those whose loved one has taken his or her own life, I find deep comfort and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing to us who remain in mortality: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27.)

 

When surrounded by these tragedies, I feel a renewed desire to hug my kids more and make sure they know that I love them unconditionally. 

 

 I feel to become a better person, to reach out to those who are suffering and help ease their burden.  

 

Most importantly, I am thankful for a Savior who suffered our sins and our pain and made an atonement for us, so that we can repent. 

I am thankful that he suffered and died on the cross, so that we can be resurrected with perfect bodies someday. 

 

I am grateful that He will be our judge and will judge us perfectly.  That is truly the meaning of Christmas.