I took an hour nap today. For the first time in years. It felt great, and I felt a lot happier afterward. I struggle in finding balance in my life and often take on more than I can handle. I always try to simplify, but often feel that I can't give up anything. I have worked hard this school year to make more time for self-care and to balance all my responsibilities with homeschooling, teaching seminary, maintaining our home, and meeting my personal needs. I'm starting to realize that I have always put off exercise and my interests, which has led to dissatisfaction and resentment.
I really want to listen to my body more instead of just pushing through. I often forget and stretch myself too thin. I'm not entirely sure how this happens. For one thing I don't like to say no to anything. Often I feel that many things depend on me, but I can't do everything for everyone, so I have to be more selective. I also sense my mortality more in my mid-40's when the body begins its slow decline. I read a wonderful book about aging in our society called, Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. I realize that aging is inevitable, but there are things I can do now to have a higher quality of life. I also realize that my time on earth is finite and I need to be more intentional about how I spend my remaining time.
I've thought through what my priorities are, and I don't have any burning desire to learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby. I suppose that could change, but I'm pretty happy with my current interests. I think at this point I want to continue expanding on my current interests including reading, knitting, piano/organ, exercise, cooking, writing, and quilting. I love continuing education in the counseling field. I also have some more years of homeschooling ahead of me that I want to do well. One thing I want to do more of in the future is travel. We're approaching expensive years of college/missions/weddings, so that may not be possible right away, but I intend to make it happen in the future.
I am happy to say that as I look back over the first half of my life I have very few regrets and no major ones. I am happy to see my children grow up to be intelligent, sensitive, thinking, good, hard-working, spiritual people all with their own unique talents and interests. I enjoy our changing relationships as they turn into young adults. I am grateful that I pushed through getting my Master's Degree to work as a counselor, which I find very fulfilling. I have grown so much through the multitude of church callings I have served in. I wish that I had closer friendships. This has been hard both to make new friends when I move so often and to keep the friendships after we move on. I would like to make more friends in time, but I do have my people I've found with whom I try to surround myself. My best choice I made in my life was marrying Nathan. He is a perfect complement to me and helps me to be my best self. Thank goodness he is my best friend! Overall, I'm finding my balance in life.
17 hours ago