I often struggle with balancing my desire to learn new things with my desire to become more proficient at the things I have already started learning. I want to improve my skills on the piano, yet I would love to learn to play the guitar. I would like to become more skilled at knitting, but I would still love to learn a foreign language. I feel a desire to practice writing and yet want to read more books than there is time for. I want additional training as a counselor but need to be there for my kids during their formative years. Inside there is always a struggle for competing desires in finite time.
Sadly, we are limited in our time and must balance our competing wishes. All the way through my 30's I felt that with enough practice I could do anything I want. Now that I am older I am realizing that I have finite time and energy and must be more choosy about what is really important to me. The hard thing for me is deciding what I really want to do. I want to do everything! But alas, I can't. So I sometimes become paralyzed by indecision and do nothing.
It reminds me of the parable of the talents. I suppose it should be good enough for me to use my talents the best I can, double them and improve myself so that the Lord will tell me that I have done well and am a good and faithful servant.
I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be great at any one thing. I won't be the best counselor, author, mother, leader, friend, wife, knitter. But I will try my best to continue to improve myself, and I will hopefully always be progressing in one way or another. My hope is that when I am too old to see or move around on my own that I will be able to sit back and feel joy over the well-spent years that I enjoyed (that is as long as I'm not afflicted with Alzheimers). And who knows, maybe this dog can still learn new tricks!
Sabbath Revival: My Heavenly Heaven
1 day ago