I took an hour nap today. For the first time in years. It felt great, and I felt a lot happier afterward. I struggle in finding balance in my life and often take on more than I can handle. I always try to simplify, but often feel that I can't give up anything. I have worked hard this school year to make more time for self-care and to balance all my responsibilities with homeschooling, teaching seminary, maintaining our home, and meeting my personal needs. I'm starting to realize that I have always put off exercise and my interests, which has led to dissatisfaction and resentment.
I really want to listen to my body more instead of just pushing through. I often forget and stretch myself too thin. I'm not entirely sure how this happens. For one thing I don't like to say no to anything. Often I feel that many things depend on me, but I can't do everything for everyone, so I have to be more selective. I also sense my mortality more in my mid-40's when the body begins its slow decline. I read a wonderful book about aging in our society called, Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. I realize that aging is inevitable, but there are things I can do now to have a higher quality of life. I also realize that my time on earth is finite and I need to be more intentional about how I spend my remaining time.
I've thought through what my priorities are, and I don't have any burning desire to learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby. I suppose that could change, but I'm pretty happy with my current interests. I think at this point I want to continue expanding on my current interests including reading, knitting, piano/organ, exercise, cooking, writing, and quilting. I love continuing education in the counseling field. I also have some more years of homeschooling ahead of me that I want to do well. One thing I want to do more of in the future is travel. We're approaching expensive years of college/missions/weddings, so that may not be possible right away, but I intend to make it happen in the future.
I am happy to say that as I look back over the first half of my life I have very few regrets and no major ones. I am happy to see my children grow up to be intelligent, sensitive, thinking, good, hard-working, spiritual people all with their own unique talents and interests. I enjoy our changing relationships as they turn into young adults. I am grateful that I pushed through getting my Master's Degree to work as a counselor, which I find very fulfilling. I have grown so much through the multitude of church callings I have served in. I wish that I had closer friendships. This has been hard both to make new friends when I move so often and to keep the friendships after we move on. I would like to make more friends in time, but I do have my people I've found with whom I try to surround myself. My best choice I made in my life was marrying Nathan. He is a perfect complement to me and helps me to be my best self. Thank goodness he is my best friend! Overall, I'm finding my balance in life.
Knitting and Reading (as always)
1 day ago