Thankful

We had our first snow last night, and I feel fall blending into winter.  Richness and bounty fill my life.  The chaos of finishing my master's degree has paid off in a much more balanced life.

I am only working a day and a half a week and then have more focused time to homeschool my younger children.  Andrew started school for the first time this year, and he has had a wonderful transition.  He enjoys his classes and has made a nice group of friends.  He has more balance after a lonely and isolated year last year.  while he misses his free time, he enjoys all that he is doing and learning.

I love having free time back.  Projects that were looming in the future are slowly but surely getting checked off my list, and I feel that I have time to just be once in a while.   I love the work that I am doing, but don't feel like it consumes my life like school did for three years. 

I actually had time to get the girls signed up for some extra-curricular activities which has been nice for all of us.  We are starting to make friends, but I don't feel frantic about the process and know that things will fall into place through time.

Nathan turned 40 this year.  We have both struggled a bit with feeling older, but we have started jogging a few times a week and are doing what we can to keep ourselves healthy for the next 40+ ahead of us.  We are ever closer and unified.  Our struggles have brought us together, and I so appreciate all he does to serve and honor me.  He is a wonderful husband.

We have come closer as a family as well through our transition to life in Oregon.  I love that my kids are friends and enjoy spending time together.  I know each of my children and feel privileged to watch their personalities and talents emerge.

Our tradition of learning has been a great blessing.  Their interests have led me down avenues that I never expected to explore.

My mom told me a story she recently learned from her sister about my grandma.  Grandma Cunningham had a difficult first marriage which ended in divorce, causing her a lot of grief, pain, and regret.  She talked very little about her first marriage and didn't want people to even know that she had lived that earlier life.

One Christmas, when my aunt Joetta was old enough to look forward to Christmas, they spent time looking at the window displays in anticipation of the holiday.  Shortly before Christmas that year, her husband disappeared taking all the money and leaving her hopeless and unable to buy a single present or even food for a nice meal.

On Christmas morning, when she woke up and searched the cupboards all she could find was a package of jello and a box of saltine crackers.  She made up the jello and they ate that with saltines for their Christmas dinner.  She didn't have the heart to tell Joetta that it was Christmas and so ignored the holiday that year.

I wonder at the heartache my grandma suffered and at her contrasting joy when later she married my grandpa and embraced the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I also felt a sense of sadness for what she started with in life and the comparison of what I was blessed with from my childhood.  My children have an even greater start, and I hope they will be able to live up to their privilege.

This Thanksgiving as we celebrate our rich harvest from the past year, I feel gratitude for so many things that I often take for granted.  I am thankful for messes, because they represent fun and time spent together as well as rich material wealth.

I am thankful the generations who laid the foundation for my life.  I look forward to thanking them someday.

Heaven Really is For Real

About a month ago, our family searched for a movie to watch together.  The tastes of teenage boys and preschool girls don't always mesh, but we found something that everyone could agree on for once:  Heaven is for Real. 

Surprisingly, the movie was not what I expected....not because of the ultimate moral of the story which is that, let me guess...heaven really does exist?...more because professed Christians fought against the reality of heaven and this belief was hard for many to accept.  If this story had occurred amid a group of atheists, I would have understood the doubt and even anger expressed, but I have always assumed that all Christians have a belief in heaven.    Admittedly, movies aren't always a fair portrayals of books, and I haven't yet read the book it represented.  Still, watching this movie made me want to present my beliefs.  This is not meant to be a comprehensive scriptural explanation, but more of an overview of what I believe.

My faith in an afterlife was stretched when my dad died.  I didn't want to know just that he was still there, but I also wanted to know the specifics of what he was doing.  Many of those questions will have to wait for an answer but in the meantime, I did crystallize some of my own foundational beliefs.

I believe that this life is a blip in the eternities.  We lived as Spirits before we were born and learned and grew in that realm.  We were limited in what we could learn with only a Spirit and needed to gain a body in order to continue to progress.  Differing points of view were offered and a battle was fought over whether we should be forced to choose the right as Lucifer contended or be given our agency as Jesus offered.  Knowing that no unclean thing can be in the presence of God, Jesus offered to make an atonement for us that would extend to all people who would turn to Christ and repent.  This life is in many ways a test, and I see it as a way for us to learn more about ourselves.  There is a veil of forgetfulness set over the pre-mortal existence that makes faith necessary.  It wouldn't really be a test if we remembered all the answers.

When we die, our spirits and our bodies separate for a time.  Our bodies go back to the earth and our spirits go to the Spirit World where we continue to learn and grow.  This is still a temporary place, but this is the place where I believe the main character in the movie visited while he was really sick and saw relatives and loved ones.

I believe that this spirit world has a separation or a gulf between those who have had the necessary ordinances of baptism and those who haven't.  Those who have received the proper ordinances can travel across that gulf and teach the gospel to the myriad spirits who never had an opportunity to learn of Christ.
 
Ordinances can be performed in proxy here on the earth in temples.  We can stand in the place of loved ones to be baptized and sealed as eternal families which those individuals can in turn choose to accept or refuse.  Once their ordinances are performed, the gulf is bridged for them as well.

Ultimately, I do believe that there will be a day of judgement where we will be judged by Jesus Christ. After that point, I don't believe in a Heaven/Hell, either/or finality, but in different degrees of glory.  I feel that no one will be forced to be in a place where they don't feel satisfied with, but will be where we are comfortable.  The lowest degree of glory will really be filled with regret of not living to our full potential.  The highest degree of glory will be give us the opportunity to be in the presence of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as well as live united with our family members who have also lived worthy lives and taken advantage of the gift of the atonement through repentance. 

We are in a fallen state as a result of Adam's transgression and will continue to fall short of the commandments.  Jesus Christ suffered in the garden of Gethsemane for our sins and died on the cross for us at Calvary, making it possible for us to be lifted up.  This is the grace of our Savior.  Without Christ, our progression would be permanently thwarted; however, because of Him, we can start over each day.

Thus, I am not at all surprised nor threatened when I hear stories of near-death experiences.  They are always interesting to hear about specific details, but I also know that it is not our permanent destination. I believe that our Heavenly Father wants us to be able to progress, grow, and have "all that the Father hath." (John 17:10)  Families can also be sealed as eternal relationships in holy temples.  Though I don't know the meaning of all things, I do trust in God and strive to  do the best with what I have been given, for I belive that where much is given much is required.  When I am living closer to God, this life can also be a little bit of heaven on earth.