Connor is 11!

Connor's 11th birthday was the first one that we celebrated in our new home.  We were just barely moved and not even unpacked, but I managed to get the kitchen unpacked enough to bake him his requested poppyseed birthday cake.  I tried to make this cake several times in Alamosa, but every time it over-rose and then fell.  I finally gave up.  I was so happy to finally be at an altitude that I could start baking cakes again, and it turned out perfectly!

Connor has matured so much over the years.  He is such a good reader and is curious about so many things.  He also is thoughtful and thinks of things that he can do for others.  When we go to the library, he makes sure to find books for Brandon, he cooks for us constantly.  He made us dinner tonight and last night and is great at cleaning up as well as cooking.

He is persistent even when some parts of school come a little harder for him.  He has such a good heart and prays for those things that he sees around him.  He is talented musically.  For his birthday, we got him a guitar, and he has been taking guitar lessons.  He does this, partly in his grandpa's memory, though we bought it for him before he died.  One of his sorrows was that he could never show his grandpa his new guitar and play for him. 

Connor likes to go outside and explore.  He also loves to help with outdoor projects.  He spent many hours fetching tools and helping rebuild our deck as well as painting the fence.  He is a very loyal friend.

Connor has a strong sense of right and wrong and is a rule follower.  He is bothered when other people don't have that same sense.  He is interested in architecture and spends a lot of time building things out of legos, cardboard, paper, wood and whatever else he can get his hands on.  He is the designer on he lego robotics team and loves to design bridges with blocks.

For his birthday we took a few of his new friends here in Klamath Falls to the Lava Tubes.  He has quite a sense of adventure and loves to explore caves.  The harder they are to climb, the more he likes them.  He is a wonderful boy, and I love him.  Sadly, he won't be a boy much longer; one more birthday will introduce him to the Young Men's Program.

My dad's funeral

My mom's 60th birthday was the day before my dad's funeral.  We had a lot of family show up for the "celebration."  The kids had a great time playing together, and it was nice to reconnect with family, even under the circumstances.

How are they growing up so quickly?

Garrett and I pushed swings for quite some time.

We barbequed sausages and had a huge spread of food that everyone contributed.  The weather was nice for July.  My mom was named Julie, because she was the third daughter born in July.

I was glad that my mom's sister and sister-in-law were there to give her support.

I saw people step in to the role that my dad would have taken.

It was a great comfort to see my Uncle Wes, because he reminds me so much of my dad.

The funeral itself was absolutely perfect.  There was a huge crowd who came out for it.  They set up enough extra seats for 800 people, and they still had to set up 5 more rows for the overflow.

I loved seeing my Grandma Teddy.  I'm sure she never expected to attend this funeral of her step-son.

I am thankful for my own dear, sweet family.  They were and are a huge comfort to me.

This was the hardest part for me.

I still loved seeing the cousins together.  They reaquainted themselves this summer.

Somehow time passes.  My mom came to visit for her first time last weekend.  It was very peaceful and restful for all of us.  I am grateful for both my parents.  I had to write a narrative this weekend for my Life Span class about my early childhood years, and I recognized that I am who I am today, because of them.

Accommodation

I've been reading in my lifespan texbook about some of Piaget's theories of development.  One idea in layman's terms is basically that we form a belief about something in our lives based on our experience.  Rather than reform the belief when we are presented with new information, we tend to bend that new information to match our current belief.  It is only when we are hit hard enough with a new belief that we we step back and adjust our beliefs to a new idea.

The theory is called Piaget's Constructivist Theory.    As an example, I had a belief that my dad would live to his 90's.  This belief was created by years of watching him go play racketball with his friends, jog in the mornings, eat lots of vegetables, live a worthy, productive life and by the stories he told of great-aunts and uncles who lived well into their 90's.  Through the years, any fears I had of my dad dying were adapted as I assimilated new information.  All facts pointed to him living a long and healthy life.

He was soon approaching retirement, and I expected that he would take a year to do some family history and woodwork a little bit, before heading off on a mission with my mom, just as he had always talked about doing.

In Nicole's adapted world, she expected that they would attend the Reno Rodeo on Friday night in the box seats, he acquired annually.  This was a treat that would be as much fun as the past four days had been buying surprises at the Dollar Tree, going to Paper Doll camp with Eva, and walking the golf course with Grandpa and Garrett before coming home to a berry pie made by Grandma.

In my mom's adapted and assimilated world, she expected that after coming off such a wonderful Alaskan cruise, she would celebrate her 60th birthday with her partner of 40 years and would probably enjoy a barbeque meal made by my dad that included many grilled vegetables and a Costco purchased cake.

"Children learn by a process of adaptation.  First, they interpret new stimulation in ways that fit with what they already know, sometimes distorting it as a result.  This aspect of adaptation is called assimilation.  As the new information is assimilated, the child's existing knowledge may be modified somewhat, providing a better match or fit to what is new.  The latter process is called accommodation."-Lifespan p. 78

Sometime between June 25, 2013 and July 5, 2013 my family came to a point of accommodation.  Past beliefs had to be replaced with new ones.  Past expectations were substitued by new plans.  Some of my siblings and our kids made our way to the Reno rodeo, though our hearts weren't all the way in it.  We wanted to have our kids make some new memories and knew that my dad would want us to be there.
 

My mom sat in numb shock as we celebrated a "brutiful" 60th birthday surrounded by people who had flown in or driven out.   Life has a way of rearranging "real fun," which is our expectation to "funeral" which is our accommodation.

Most of the time my life goes on with the distractions of children, callings, school and mundane chores, but every once in a while a glance at his picture, or a fleeting thought bring me back to the implications of this new great accommodation, and I find myself sorting through what this means in the long run.  Even today, while I was substituting for the primary chorister, Nicole broke into tears after a verse of Families Can Be Together Forever.  During a quiet conversation on the chair, Connor wept at all the things that he misses.  And I find myself in grief in front of my computer screen.

We smile and move on through our pain, and our pain is a steady tutor.  The waves of grief ebb and flow, and I plead with the Lord to please be with my mom and help her get through this time.  I strain to feel close to my dad and at times feel his spirit near.

There is comfort in knowing of all the people who reach out to serve our family through small acts or through their own prayers.  It has already gotten easier for me, and I have found great peace in the temple.

Fortunately, my core beliefs remain unscathed and are, if anything, now stronger.

Math Camp

The summer has passed too quickly, and I started my internship today.  Technically the summer is not over, but it feels over for me.  The kids start homeschool next Monday, but Brandon has two more weeks, because Oregon schools start a lot later and then go till the middle of June.  This will be the longest summer break of his life.

I was poring over pictures of the summer break and had nearly forgotten about the two weeks Andrew and Evan spent at BYU Math Camp.   They were in heaven spending most of the day doing math and then swimming and playing games all night.  we even took them on a few field trips to dinosaur museums both at Thanksgiving Point and at BYU. 

The BYU exhibit was a nice surprise.  They enjoyed it, and I was impressed with what was packed into that small building.  Danielle was a little apprehensive at first, but she soon forgot her fears and was strutting around as if she owned the place.

Connor was overjoyed to spend the week with his cousin Isaac and then spent the last couple nights in Orem with his Day cousins.    They slept very little and made tons of memories.

Nicole had the pleasure of staying with Grandma and Grandpa Cherpeski for the first week.  She was spoiled rotten.  She loved swimming in the pool, eating tons of junk food and staying up late with cousins.  She also had four very special days with my parents before my dad had his accident, and those memories have been seared into her mind.

At Thanksgiving Point I took the kids to an IMAX film.  I enjoy those films, but I enjoyed watching the kids watch it nearly as much.  Danielle's glasses only stayed on her long enough to watch a dinosaur swoop near her, and then they stayed off the rest of the show, so it wasn't so scary.

Jen made some awesome matching, math-related t-shirts for the boys at Math Camp.  They were hilarious and helped them to stand out from the crowd.  (My favorite was "May the Mass Times Acceleration Be with You.")  They held their own.  I was uncertain how Andrew would do, since I've never had anything to compare him with, but he did quite well on the final test over the material covered.  I am proud of him.  He can't wait to go back next year.

Mesa Verde

Before my life was turned upside-down and I thought that moving was my great challenge, we took a trip to Mesa Verde.  After living in Colorado for 6 1/2 years, I plotted to fit this trip into our travels as the final place I wanted to experience in the state.

I had seen lots of pictures and heard stories about the place, and I worried a little that it might not live up to my expectations.  I must say that, on the contrary, they were exceeded.

The story of how and why these living quarters were built were fascinating; and they were so perfectly preserved.  I also was surprised that we were allowed to walk among them and even go down a ladder into a kiva.

Another surprise was the greenery on the trail down to the pueblos.  We drove for several hours through high desert sagebrush and pine trees, and then out of the desert, we descended into an oasis of verdant beauty.

Nicole was the only one who didn't want to climb into the confined space of the kiva.  It was a little claustrophobic; and dusty!  But it was also pretty cool.

I'm grateful that we took that drive through southern Colorado, before the fires wiped out all the trees from along much of that area.  I also have a hard time comprehending all that would transpire only a month later.  I am still mostly in disbelief, with a dose of sadness and a touch of acceptance mixed in.
   

We drove through Monticello, Utah a few hours after we left Mesa Verde, and found the first small temple that was built.  Though little, it was lovely, and there was a beautiful spirit there.  I am grateful for the peace that comes from the temple.  I need to get back there soon.