Together Again

The past ten days have been crazier than usual in our household. I went to my sister's wedding at the same time as Nathan went to a work conference. Danielle is now the youngest traveler in our family. She flew at only 6 1/2 weeks old.

We flew to Reno a few days before Lenaya got married, so that my mother-in-law could see Danielle for the first time. She looked like she was about to jump out of her skin she was so excited when we walked out of the terminal. She finally got her much needed baby-holding out of her system, and we had a great time visiting and shopping. We ate some great food, and eased my food cravings for Chinese and fresh Mexican. I also had a great time seeing the rest of the family and got a quick visit with Jeff & Jen before they headed to Utah.

On Friday we went to Sparks and I'm sure I hindered more than helped in the decorating, but luckily Lenaya had simple plans, and so there wasn't too much to do. I got to have a tour of the home that Lenaya and Brian have just closed on. It's going to be wonderful with a few coats of paint and a little remodeling. I'm glad they have a home.

The whole family showed up within a few hours of each other then, and that's when the fun really started. All my siblings were there along with their families and I was sad that my kids were missing out. It was complete pandemonium and I was quite sleep deprived, but the conversations were worth the pounding headache I had the next day.

The wedding day itself went perfectly. We had a family breakfast where I had a chance to talk with both my uncles and their families. We hung out in the afternoon and then headed over to the church.Lenaya looked beautiful in her dress and there was quite a large turn-out. She and Brian have a lot of people who love them. My favorite favorite part of the ceremony was when Xiana walked down the aisle and saw Brian. She said in her sweet high-pitched voice, "Hi Daddy!"

It brought tears to my eyes. I am glad that she has such a good daddy. I think that they are going to be really happy together and that makes me happy. My dad kept choking up all day. His emotions were tender, as he was so grateful that she has come so far.

Danielle did really well on the plane, considering the evenings can be her fussy time. On the first flight home we sat next to an elderly man. When he saw us sitting next to him, he gave a look saying, "Out of all the people on this plane, I have to be the one stuck next to the baby!?" He never said a word to us the entire two hour flight. To make the situation even more humorous, Danielle had a blowout and I only had two wipes left. I'm sure he was horrified, but I kept thinking that somebody changed his diaper when he was a baby.

Meanwhile on the homefront, our kids were looked after by some friends of ours who are heading off to Medical school in the fall. On Saturday morning, they took the kids to their favorite place to go on the weekend: Big R. They got free popcorn and saw the cute baby chicks. They had a lot of fun but were really happy to see me when I got back late Sunday night.

I still had a busy week ahead of me once I returned, because Nathan was gone until Friday. Between calls he managed to buy a new car that we are picking up from Pueblo next week. It is an Ocean Mist Metallic Honda Odyssey with grey leather interior.

We had a very rare sleepover on Monday night, because our best friends were moving to Nebraska and the boys wanted as much time together as possible. At 10:30 that night they came to me upset because they forgot to go outside for night games. I thought about how it would look for our kids to be running around in the backyard with flashlights on a school night, and then let them go figuring that I know the police chief and couldn't get into too big of trouble. It was a sad day when the Fletchers left for Nebraska. We feel a void in our lives!

My days were consumed with our usual schooling, soccer practices, scouts, meals, meetings, book club and trying to keep the house from falling into shambles. Nicole had class pictures on the same day that it was our turn to bring snack. We somehow made it through the week until Nathan was home on Friday.

Today I cleaned the bathrooms and went shopping since we had resorted to making dried milk, we were so low on groceries. Nathan came with me, and it was so nice to be together after 10 days of separation. I don't know how single mothers make it. I am so happy to have our family back intact. It will take us at least a month to catch up on the events, and I am glad that we are together.

Future Mothers

This past week we enjoyed a visit from a dear friend named Brooke who is from Redding, CA and is seventeen years old. We have known Brooke and her family since she was seven. We met her when our young boys were the age she was when her father died. I felt a connection with her family, because I could imagine how much harder life would be without Nathan. When she found out that I was having another baby, Brooke asked if she could fly out over her Spring break to visit. (Brooke has always loved babies). We had a wonderful visit.

This brings up a topic often on my mind. I am currently the Stake Young Women's President and have stewardship over the 60+ Young Women in our valley. Consequently, they are often on my mind, and I ponder over what I can do to help them reach their potential and overcome the many obstacles in their path.

I never go to sleep before I take the time to pray for them. They really are up against so much. If they could see clearly who they are and what they want, I think it would change what they do and why they do it. When we were talking to Brooke, we were asking her about college plans and what career she wanted to go into. She was a little ambivalent, and after some discussion I realized that what she wants to be when she grows up is a mother.

There is a no more noble goal, yet the world has erased that choice for young women. We are convinced that we must achieve something more to be considered successful. What a tragedy. And as a result, so many women feel valueless and push the belief onto their daughters that motherhood isn't enough.

I hope Brooke keeps that desire in her heart and is careful to marry someone who is the kind of father she would have wanted. I have the same hope for all the young women in my life...that they will recognize what is important to them and live to achieve that. I hope they keep their lives centered in Christ, so they can be guided in what will bring them joy.

I hope they look beyond television and movies in defining what love is. So often it is defined as lust, when real love means sacrificing, being patient, giving service to others, and getting up with a crying baby in the middle of the night without even being asked. I find it ironic that I used to say that some guys were "too nice." So often we want adventure, when it's actually great to be married to someone who is nice.

I hope that my own daughters can grow to know who they are....daughters of God. I hope they can look beyond the peer pressures of the world and do what they want to do. I hope that I will teach them and prepare them for the world in which they live. Life isn't going to get any easier and there will be more and more roadblocks placed in their path. Ultimately, I know that they can overcome the world's view and find joy in what is good and true.

Brooke was with me when Danielle smiled for one of the first times. I look forward to hearing about her child's first smile, and hope it brings her great joy!

Spring aka Wind

My favorite season has always been Spring. That is, until I moved to Alamosa. Here the winds have replaced Spring. I feel even more housebound, because even though the temperatures are so much warmer, I am still stuck inside. Any flowers that attempt to poke their heads out of the ground are blown apart pretty quickly. The outside here is still brown, when everywhere else in the world people are planting their gardens. To cope mentally, I finally had to decide that as long as I live in Alamosa, I will have to change my favorite season. The trouble is I haven't been able to decide what to change it to yet.

Yet, as the saying goes, there is always a silver lining to every cloud. My silver lining here in Alamosa, is my view. We live next to a wetland area and I have 6 large windows that point out toward it. I can always tell that Spring is here by the sounds and sights of the birds. I love to be woken up to their natural alarm clock. There are Canada Geese, Ducks, Robins, and a myriad of other nameless birds. My favorite neighborhood bird whose appearance always thrills me is the Yellow-headed blackbird.


Despite the fact that we had two days of nice weather and were able to go out twice on walks before the wind came, I can look out the windows and spot pretty birds and ducks nesting on little islands. I've also spotted a red fox back there as well as countless deer.


Even in other seasons there is endless changing beauty. The green of the summer and the frozen winter wonderland are just as beautiful. It's a lesson that I've learned that there is something wonderful wherever you live. You can choose to mourn the thing you no longer have, or you can find the unique blessing in front of you. So I look out and watch last season's cattails blowing in the wind, and I tell myself that someday the wind will stop and I can get out in my flower garden and enjoy one of my four favorite seasons.

The Grateful Woman

I am starting to feel so much better. It's great to NOT be pregnant anymore, and it's great to be feeling mostly recovered from labor. It would feel even better to be fitting into something other than maternity pants....especially considering I only gained 6 pounds this pregnancy. I guess my body has redistributed itself. All in time.

I have to say that people have been so kind to us. I haven't had to cook a meal yet, and Danielle will be 4 weeks only in a couple of days. The first week my ward brought in meals, My mom was here the second week and cooked for us. Then, my kind homeschool group signed up for 14 days of meals. I've still got4 more days of meals coming, and I'm starting to feel almost guilty for letting these busy people serve me, but also grateful for such kindness.

It seems such a small thing, bringing a meal, yet it is such a large thing for me. I can savor this first month with Danielle and have extra time for all my kids. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed a baby more, and I'm also happy that my other kids thrill in every moment with her. She is so wonderful.

I'm also grateful to my sister-in-law for recommending the book Becoming Babywise: Giving your baby the gift of sleep. She has been only waking up once at night, and I could go a long time with the sleep I am getting.


Danielle's umbilical cord finally fell off when she was three weeks old, so we were all excited to give her a real bath. She hated it. She screamed the entire time. That was a first for me. But I'm happy to report that they are growing on her.


Also, they always say that the last babies hardly have any pictures taken of them, but I'm pretty sure we have more pictures of Danielle than any of our other children put together, thanks to Brandon. He has photos of her from about every angle. We have 78 pictures just from last week. This is the first child that we've had a digital camera, so the kids go a little crazy. Of course, she is so beautiful that it's easy to get carried away.


Things are easier this time around as well. If she's sleeping when I need to go pick up Nicole from pre-school, I can leave Brandon with her. I can't tell you how many times I was forced to wake up sleeping babies with my older crew. The kids hold her while I take a shower in the mornings or while I brush my teeth at night, and they love every second of it. She's also my first child who loves her binky. I may actually have a pacifier baby this time around.


All in all life is great, and I feel richly blessed.

Experimenting With Kids

I found a book several years ago on clearance at Barnes & Noble called 365 Science Projects and Activities . For several summers I invited different friends to join us once a week for "Science Summer." I would do 5-10 of the experiments and teach the concept behind what we were doing.

After we moved to Colorado, I never got around to doing Science Summer, and I have to admit, I didn't do much of anything regarding Science for a couple of years, other than what they learned on Brainpop.com. This school year I wanted to add something fun to our school day and I remembered our past Science Summers. I gathered together my trusty Science Activity book and designated Monday afternoons to be our Science Experiment days. The kids have loved them!

The interesting thing I have discovered in teaching my kids, is that I often learn concepts that I must have been taught at some point, but somehow they never stuck. I have enjoyed really understanding Density, pH, Air Pressure and Calories in a whole new and interesting light.

All the kids have their own Science Notebooks. We set up the experiment and then I ask them to each form their own hypothesis of what they think will happen. They write it down and then we see what in fact will happen. Sometimes they guess right and sometimes they are surprised to be wrong. They were shocked, for instance, that the room was 10 degrees warmer by the ceiling than by the floor.

Sometimes I am even surprised by an experiment. I was amazed that you could heat a can of water with a burning nut and discover how many calories the nut has by the temperature change in the water. Walnuts have more calories than Almonds, which makes sense, since they are fattier.

I have many favorite experiments, but my all-time favorite experiment has to do with purple cabbage. If you boil it for 30 minutes and pour the juice into several cups they will act as a pH indicator. When you add something to the liquid it will turn the juice a new shade. The more pinkish it becomes indicates that it is an acid. The more bluish it turns means it is a base. I find it absolutely fascinating.


The biggest surprise for me was to learn that dishwasher soap is a strong base. Who would have thought? What I enjoy the most though, are the conversations that spring up from these experiments, sometimes even months later.....and the smiles on their faces.

Motherhood

I had my first child when I was 24. I had a decent case of baby blues. I felt a loss of freedom, a fear of ability as a mother, and then terrible guilt for feeling this way. Of course I also felt a tremendous love and care for my son, and eventually got through those postpartum feelings. My next three children were born over time and I was so busy with all my other children that I never had time to have baby blues.

Pregnancy and childbirth are an amazing experience. They are full of many ups and downs....and pain. But the most wonderful part of it for me, is when I see my baby for the very first time. It is miraculous.

I had baby blues again with this fifth birth. But this time it revolved around endings. I had a severe case of the nevermores. I will never get to hold my newborn child and kiss her sweet cheeks again. I will never feel my baby kick in my stomach again. I will never look at those exquisite little feet and marvel at the life I am holding.

I suppose all I can do is savor every moment I have now, so that I remember this time.

And also remember that there are still really great memories left to come.

Happy Chinese New Year

Today is Valentine's Day, but it is also Chinese New Year. My husband and oldest son are both Tigers, and Danielle will also be born in the year of the Tiger. Our family is a little Tiger heavy. Connor is a Horse and debates with Brandon about which runs faster....a tiger or a horse. They have agreed to disagree. Nicole is a Monkey, which I think is quite appropriate. Our Andrew is a Rabbit. The rest of the kids pretend to pet him. Today we looked up Togo to see what he is....he was born in the year of the dog. Togo would have thought that is obvious.

My parents went to China a couple of years ago and brought the kids back personalized stamps with red ink. The kids like to stamp their papers they write with their own personal seal.

Anyway, on Chinese New Year you shouldn't sweep the floor, because you might sweep away your good fortune. I was grateful for yet another excuse to not sweep the floor, which got me thinking about housework.

All responsible women face the inevitable housework. I had a grandmother who was a compulsive cleaner. She even scrubbed behind the fridge once a month. My mother was much more relaxed in her cleaning style, often to my embarrassment when I had friends come over. I was probably leaning more toward my grandmother's style until a defining moment in a child psychology class. We were discussing family cycles, and I brought up the differences between my mother and her mother. My professor asked me how I was going to be. Up until that point I think the pendulum was going to swing the other direction. But I looked at it and decided I didn't want to be either of them. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle.

Anyone who homeschools knows that some other things have to give. I must admit that my house is never spotless. It is a physical impossibility, when your children are always there, but I think I have also found a balance.

Before I became pregnant, I knew that I would need extra help with the house when the nausea and exhaustion came, so I started training my kids to take on more of the chores. They can now all do their own laundry, do the dishes, clean their rooms, clean the bathroom and they do so every week. It is so wonderful. Even though they complain, they have told me that they are glad that I have taught them to do these things and that we don't spoil them by doing everything for them. I told them that today they didn't have to sweep, because we didn't want to sweep out all our good fortune.

I was born in the year of the Ox. I looked up my forecast for the year of the Tiger, since we have so many Tigers around and this is what it said:

Tiger style is not conducive to your peace of mind. This is not the time to march forth boldly into battle heedless of the consequences. You will have to pick your fights and show much restraint if you want to be successful overall. You are only likely to have two great months this year; make sure to take advantage of the opportunities they provide. The rest of the time you need to tone down your efforts and press ahead carefully with ongoing projects.

Well I guess I'll have to be careful, since I'm only going to have two good months this year. I'm also a Scorpio and am crying out in dismay, because Pluto rules my sign. Now that Pluto isn't really a planet at all reading my daily horoscope may be a futile waste of time. (Christine Lavine)

It's a good thing I'm not superstitious. But I'm still not going to sweep my floor today.