Breadth vs. Depth

I often struggle with balancing my desire to learn new things with my desire to become more proficient at the things I have already started learning.  I want to improve my skills on the piano, yet I would love to learn to play the guitar.  I would like to become more skilled at knitting, but I would still love to learn a foreign language.  I feel a desire to practice writing and yet want to read more books than there is time for.  I want additional training as a counselor but need to be there for my kids during their formative years.  Inside there is always a struggle for competing desires in finite time.

Sadly, we are limited in our time and must balance our competing wishes.  All the way through my 30's I felt that with enough practice I could do anything I want.  Now that I am older I am realizing that I have finite time and energy and must be more choosy about what is really important to me.  The hard thing for me is deciding what I really want to do.  I want to do everything!  But alas, I can't.  So I sometimes become paralyzed by indecision and do nothing.

It reminds me of the parable of the talents.  I suppose it should be good enough for me to use my talents the best I can, double them and improve myself so that the Lord will tell me that I have done well and am a good and faithful servant. 

I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be great at any one thing.  I won't be the best counselor, author, mother, leader, friend, wife, knitter.  But I will try my best to continue to improve myself, and I will hopefully always be progressing in one way or another.  My hope is that when I am too old to see or move around on my own that I will be able to sit back and feel joy over the well-spent years that I enjoyed (that is as long as I'm not afflicted with Alzheimers).  And who knows, maybe this dog can still learn new tricks!